If anyone out there reads this blog (other than my family and friends), I would like to apologize for making you wait so long for a new post. My reason for leaving was partially because I wasn’t enjoying writing or the subject of health. The more important reason, though, was because I didn’t understand why I wasn’t enjoying it. I stopped writing for about a month to make room for self-examination and a paradigm shift.
The goal when I started this blog was to tell other members of my generation about what they eat and to educate other teens on health – a goal which I have realized was wrong. It’s ok to share what I’ve learned, but I have no right to pretend I am more intelligent or higher-ranking than others, or to shatter the realities in which people live.
It’s not fun to get onto a podium and shout about information that you gather for that purpose. For one thing, it’s just information – tasteless, bland, boring facts that people forget about in a week. Boring for the reader, and boring for the writer.
Another reason that you have to lie to convince yourself that you are in a position to lecture or lead… and once a lie is discovered, pain follows. Realizing that that’s what I was doing was kind of awesome, because it reminded me (here comes the geek) of my favorite Marvel villain, Loki, standing before a crowd of kneeling people.
For the same reason it was also pretty sad and distasteful. I love this character, but that’s not who I want to be.
I enjoy researching. I am fascinated by the subjects of health, food, and the human body, and I always have been. But I wasn’t researching and writing for enjoyment; I was researching and writing to teach people what they don’t know. To paraphrase: I was writing with the assumption that they don’t know and alternatively, I do know.
So now I understand why I didn’t enjoy blogging, and I recognize that I was doing something right (writing information) with wrong intentions (make you learn it). If I can’t enjoy doing something that isn’t particularly necessary, than I have two options: to stop doing it, or to make it enjoyable. I don’t like to quit (it’s not healthy), so I am going to go with the latter.
The New Goal
The old goal, like I said, was to try to teach others. The new goal is to stick with teaching myself. The new goal is also to write down the ‘just plain stuff’ that crowds my head all day.
So, dear unknown and possibly nonexistent reader, this is health and food and facts and a bit of my life and thoughts. Have fun.